Two posts in one day? Could it be? Well let's just say I have a lot on my mind...
How do you know when you're ready to leave your child with a sitter? Not just any sitter but GRANDMA? Since Izzy has been diagnosed, we've left her maybe a handful of times - typically during a nap - with Grandma in charge.
I think back to when Izzy was first born, it took a lot of strength for me to leave her with anyone, including my husband. Most people agreed it was normal, but I did have massive anxiety. Now my anxiety is back x 100.
A million questions race through my mind. Will something go wrong with the pump? Will a problem with the glucose monitor arise? Will her sugar get low? Will Grandma know what to do? Will I have cell phone reception 100% of the time I am gone? What if there is an emergency & I am now 45 minutes away from home? Will the older girls be helpful or will it turn into World War III at my house?
I have an amazing support system. Mostly, my husband. He is the king of keeping his cool. He is my polar opposite, but sometimes I truly need that. He brings me back down when my stress is off the charts. He reminds me it's ok to not be perfect - but let's face it, I am sooooo perfect right?! A tad OCD, neurotic, anal-retentive, perfectionist... you get the gist.
In two days we have an event, who knows if I will go. My husband has offered to stay home so that I can go on my own just so that I can go. I so badly wanted HIM by my side, my date, a night away for us. But in the back of my head the WHAT IF'S are screaming, a really loud nagging scream. So to those of you reading this... when do you know you are ready?
You are a great mama and your mama is a great mama and Grammy! I don't know what your going through but I know you. I know the what ifs are taking a toll on you. But with everything you and your husband have been through a few hours on just one night will be good for you. Have a few hours off normalcy... Notice I didn't tell you to relax ... Everyone well tell you that. But again I know you and your anxiety and total ocd lol... However... You deserve it. And your mom deserves the chance to prove it is ok for you to try to have a normal life. Little Izzy deserves to see mommy and daddy be as normal as possible... I love you stace!!
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